Living The Dream

Part one of a two part series from university to filmmaker as I visit & premiere my first feature at my alma mater, Belmont University, and how I hope this conversation inspires you

Sep 03, 2024

Living the Dream - an essay written my senior year at Belmont University, formatted and revisited while I was a performer on the Disney Dream in 2016.

“Living the dream” is not something that happens to you, but something that you choose to make happen.

I often catch myself saying, “That person is living the dream”, whether it’s in regards to someone laying on the beach on one of their days off on a cruise ship, a back-up dancer touring the country, a performer booking a Broadway show or National Tour straight out of college, or even the performer that worked and auditioned for years before ever booking their first Broadway show. I’ve found my colleagues and I sarcastically saying that so-and-so is “living the dream” when they reach a goal we hope to achieve in our careers, or a great opportunity comes along at a young age.

Many times during my contract at Summer Repertory Theater last summer, I found myself saying, “Wow, I’m living the dream.” Sometimes it was in the rehearsal room, opening night of A Chorus Line the musical (and every time I performed that show), sitting outside in Santa Rosa on a beautiful day, laying on the beach with my new friends, or even relaxing in the hot tub after a long day of rehearsal.

I did not realize how often I throw the phrase around “living the dream”, but I also realized that I had never thought about what “living the dream” truly means. A “dream” is a desire put in our heart by a higher power that we are willing to fight and work for to achieve. “Living” is the active verb that means that each day we are breathing, pursuing and working and making choices with our time. “Living the dream” is not just a thing, but the active process of breathing, pursuing, working, and making choices with one’s time to do what one loves to do. “Living the dream” is not something that happens to you, but something that you choose to make happen.

In my senior capstone course, I was required to watch a series of speakers called “Living the Dream.” Through this, I was inspired and able to discover things about my own journey as an actor. (And today, as a producer and filmmaker)

The first speaker, Nat McIntyre, a Broadway performer, worked in Church of the Nazarene Romania and it was there that he fell in love with teaching. He moved to Boston for about seven years, where the intimacy of a smaller city because helped develop his chops as an actor. He warned us to be careful of bad directors because they can encourage us to form bad habits. After meeting another actor named Diego, he learned and performed Shakespeare, and started a young company for their theater. He enforced the importance of learning Shakespeare because of the musicality and manipulating language is an important skill in acting

Nat decided to further his craft by attending the Old Globe in San Diego, and he expressed being challenged immensely. He understudied and covered multiple roles, so memorizing lines became a breeze, and it prepared him for his track in War Horse on Broadway. Upon graduating, he moved to NYC and signed with an agent. He didn’t work for a while, so he got together with friends and created their own art, and from that, booked War Horse on Broadway which he performed for a year. They all had to cover each other’s roles, the ultimate swing track, so quick memorization came in handy. After War Horse, he moved to Nashville to marry his now-wife, and started teaching at Belmont University. He found that he doesn’t have expectations of life, and that’s a huge part of his character; he just takes life as it comes.

The most important thing I could take from Nat, is the concept of not having expectations of life. We cannot control what opportunities others give or do not give us, we can only control the opportunities that we create for ourselves. While I cannot control what opportunities I get, I can control what I do with the opportunities that I am given, which includes preparation. I have to remind myself that part of living the dream is fully investing myself into the process, and the hard work will pay off in the outcome. It’s important to have expectations of myself, but not of life.

Melissa Hammans was born and raised in Indiana, so she went to IU where she studied classical voice, but eventually transitioned to theater. She moved to NYC right after graduation with no agent, no audition book, and no money. She lived there for ten years and did a lot of open calls, but it was six months until she booked her first job. She was a “Snowball” in Branson, MO, and while it was not the best experience, she made a lot of connections that would come into play later. She worked regionally on a frequent basis, and one of her favorite places was Flatrock Playhouse.

When she moved to New York, her goal was to get her equity card as soon as possible, which she achieved when she booked Grease. She worked hard to get an agent so she could avoid the open calls and have appointments. Her first agent was a small boutique agency that she signed with for one year, and at the end of the year, she was dropped and offered a job contract in same day. This opened doors for her to sign with a bigger agency that represented in NYC and LA. She eventually moved to Nashville because she wanted a house and more space, and now she works here and frequently flies back and forth to NYC for auditions.

One of the most important things I took from Melissa is that sometimes “bad” things happen, like not getting the role you want, or getting dropped by agency. But these “bad” things are just making room for something better to come. If Melissa had not been dropped by her agent, she would not have been able to sign with a bigger, better agent that allowed her to even move to Nashville. I have to learn to trust that something better will come if I stay positive and keep working hard. I even learned that last year with Summer Repertory Theater. I did not get SETC, but I didn’t need to spend the money on it, or possibly get wrapped up in another opportunity. Instead, I landed the job that I was meant to have and that I learned and grew from in more ways than I thought possible.

Melissa also left us with two pieces of important advice that I want to take with me on my journey, which are “Listen to your own voice”, and “Don’t let the business change you.” I want to continually find who I am as a person and what makes me, “me”, and realize that it is impossible to be right for everything.

Matt Logan (my director from Wizard of Oz at Studio Tenn, where I received my EMC card) was born and raised in Nashville, and growing up he would listen to sound tracks and imagine what the production would look like. He never saw Broadway shows so he was free to let his imagination run wild, rather than be stuck in the mounted versions. Matt studied acting at Pepperdine University where he participated in choir, main-stage shows, and even operas. He believed that education makes performers multi-faceted as artists. Upon graduation, he worked at the San Francisco Opera. After that he moved to New York City for five years where he worked on costumes on four Broadway shows.

“If you removed talent, ability, circumstances, money, training, what would you do with your life?”

The highlight of his time in New York was working for Tara Rubin Casting. He became a reader in auditions, and it was the best learning experience for him because he could see what worked, what made performers stand out, the difference between good and bad auditions, and how a casting director sees things. He also learned the “risk factor”, which means that casting is a risk because a company could go under from one bad show. A performer has to remove themselves from trying to answer why when it does or doesn’t go there way. It’s important to always be prepared and to never make a fool in front of the producer.

In Matt’s opinion, it is much easier when one door opens than trying to choose which door to walk through when multiple open. For him, one door typically opened so the choice where to go was clearly paved out. (At the time of this interview) He now lives in Nashville where he has started a bold and unique equity theater company, Studio Tenn. I have also found that it’s easier when one door opens and I know the clear path to take. It is difficult to make a decision between multiple opportunities because I feel like I’m missing out on something important with each one.

Matt also asked us an important question at the beginning that I think echoes the theme of “Living the Dream”: “If you removed talent, ability, circumstances, money, training, what would you do with your life?” I would choose performing, whether it’s musicals, plays, contemporary dance, back-up dancing, film, anything that tells a story. He warned us that sometimes we train out the details of what makes us incredible as artists.

They all reiterated one statement: “create your own opportunities.” Matt created his own opportunity by starting the most visionary equity theater in the area, and it came from his ability to listen to the music from a show and imagine what it should be like. He is able to re-imagine shows in a way that no one else can.

Nat created his own opportunity by getting together with friends in New York and writing a show that they performed for friends, and eventually with NYU grads, which lead to his connections to book War Horse. He encouraged us that when we are not working, use the skills that make us artists to affect other people. We have empathy, the ability for people to listen to us, and creativity.

Melissa Hammons wrote a show when she was on a cruise ship, which is now called “Back to the Garden”, featuring the music of Carol King, Jonie Mitchell, and Lauren Nero. They’ve performed the show in multiple venues in New York City and now the show is touring the country. She’s become a producer, and even started a small producing company as a result.

I don’t know where my journey will take me, or the exact path that I will follow. But I always want be an artist, always creating. Instead of focusing on “doing what’s right”, I want to spend the beginning of my post-graduate career finding my voice, what makes me unique, and those things that make me an interesting artist that I may have “trained out”. I am so focused on trying to do everything perfectly that sometimes I miss the joy of just creating art. I want to find the songs that I truly love singing and just sing them. I also want to focus on becoming a true singer/musician that makes people learn forward to hear more, instead of belting in someone’s face, causing them to repel back instead of lean forward.

Yes, I would love to be on Broadway, a cruise ship, a national tour, etc. but the most important thing I want to do is tell stories and have fun. I love to be a part of something bigger. There is nothing more precious than many people coming together to create and tell a life-changing story. I think one of the greatest joys of being an artist is the ability and opportunity to travel and experience the world, and I hope to do that in my journey of “living the dream”.

Eight years later, and I am reformatting this and re-reading this again to share via Substack and my email list. This week, I share my first feature film with a Nashville premiere at Belmont University for the 25th Anniversary of the school’s Musical Theatre program. I wish that I would have re-read this essay when I was going through the thick of my accident, because every single person that was “Living the Dream” said to create your own opportunities. The magic is in creating your own opportunities. It’s not in what someone books you in, or gives you some magical medal saying “YOU ARE LEGIT!” but it is in boldly and unabashedly collaborating with others, creating, and then sharing that art with the world.

I am so excited to share that with the film and musical theatre programs this Friday at Belmont, and a part 2 is coming!

I’m curious - what does living the dream mean to you?

Rebel Waves

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